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I had this problem too. One nice trick that I found to be usable is (although this also requires many tries):
1. Close all other apps in Windows.
2. Press and hold down the M button on the M3.
3. Wait one second, then (while still depressing the M button) press and hold down the Play button.
4. Now that you've got the M and Play buttons depressed, wait 8 seconds and connect the USB plug.
5. Windows will find a new DFU device (I assume you've already installed the driver).
6. Wait 15 seconds. If the device does not get disconnected, you're safe. If the device gets disconnected, release both buttons, pull out the USB plug and try again from step 2.
7. Update the firmware using secdfu.exe
If you find it difficult to hold down the two buttons simultaneously, try this:
1. Use your left hand to hold the M3 face up so that the LCD is facing upwards and your thumb is supporting its back.
2. Use your middle finger to press the M button.
3. Use your index finger to press the Play button.
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